When a Guardian Comes Between a Mother and Son

I don’t think Rick Mesler will ever see his mother again.

This is not his, nor his mother’s choosing.  Neither is it because they’ve been geographically divided or even divided because of choices they’ve made.

Rick and his mother have one barrier: his mother’s guardian Kristyan Calhoun.

In September of 2015, Rick and his family moved to Yakima from Tacoma specifically so that he could take care of his elderly parents Joan and Dick.  Their daughter Janice had been taking care of them, but moved with her husband to Ellensburg.  She and her husband had lived next door to Joan and Dick for some time.

Rick made meals, his children mowed their grandparents’ yard and watered it and helped around the house.  For 2 years Rick and his family devoted their lives to the well-being of Joan and Dick.  Rick worked as a school bus driver and began teaching bible study at the local church they attended.

Within two months of his arrival, the congregation voted unanimously to appoint Rick lead pastor.  It seemed like things were going well.

In November of 2017, Rick’s father was nipped by the family dachshund.  Upon first inspection at the emergency room, Rick’s father was released along with some antibiotics.  Shortly after taking the course of antibiotics, the wound became infected.  His daughter Janice Vickers took him in to the E.R. where he was admitted.  Slowly his weakened immune system succumbed and it became evident that Mr. Mesler may not return home from the hospital.

The family held vigil around Mr. Mesler’s bed in the hospital; spoon-feeding him, talking to him, and sitting with him.  Meanwhile, Janice took Joan to a lawyer to sign a Power of Attorney appointing Janice as Durable Power of Attorney.

The next day, when Rick’s brother Steven visited his mother, she handed him the Power of Attorney.  Steve read her the Power of Attorney, asking her if she wanted the arrangement as outlined in the PoA – Janice would have full control of the house, finances, and Joan’s assets.  Joan became upset, saying, “No! No!”

Steven immediately called Rick and alerted him to the PoA and his mother’s distress about it.

Rick and Steven, incredulous that she had been taken out in the middle of winter to sign a document she didn’t want, as the rest of the family gathered around their father on his deathbed.  Joan emphatically communicated that she did not want the PoA as it was written.

Rick and his brother took Joan to the same attorney who’d drafted the PoA to revoke it.  Joan made it clear through gestures and words that she wanted the PoA revoked.  The attorney called Janice to discuss the PoA with her and let her know that the PoA was to be revoked.  She responded “when can I get the PoA back?”

Because of the exploitation of his mother and the secrecy of Janice’s actions, Rick and his brother Steve filed a Vulnerable Adult Protection Order against Janice.

Rick Mesler’s father passed away on December 28th, 2017.

The Involvement of a Guardian

What followed next would set the family on an expensive path of broken hearts and expose the corrupt guardianship system in Yakima.  It would also ensure that Rick’s trust relationship with Joan would be severed and that Joan’s personal affairs and care would be placed in the hands of complete strangers.

Immediately after Dick passed away, Rick came to the house.  Joan invited Rick into her bedroom and led him to the closet where she stored a box of silver coins belonging to Dick.  It was a well-known wish among all family members that the silver coins were to be split among 4 children — Rick’s two children, and another niece and nephew of Joan and Dick.  However, he refused to accept the coins without a witness at least.  His father had no written instructions for the coins and no will specifically identifying his wishes for them.

3 days later, in a room with Rick’s brother Steve, sister Sharon, Rick’s two children, and Joan, she again indicated she wanted Rick to take the coins.  Based on the family’s understanding of Dick’s wishes, Rick counted the coins and distributed them to the four intended recipients.  He gave his two children 1/4 of the coins, and sent the rest back to the west side of the state with his brother to give to the intended recipients there.  Rick received no coins, and in no way benefitted from the transaction.

Janice engaged Tygh Lybbert and filed a petition for a 3rd party guardian for Joan Mesler.  She stated that Rick had stolen the coins against his mother’s wishes and wanted a restraining order filed against him.

Kristyan Calhoun of Senior Avenues was appointed.

The Mesler family had a long history of an “open door” policy.  When the kids came to visit, they simply walked in to their parents’ home.

Then Rick’s uncle John Moreland came to town.  He had not been to the Meslers’ more than once or twice over the past 12 years.

Rick and his two children came to Joan’s house for a visit.  They were in the front room and were greeted by his uncle telling him he had no right to come barging in.  They argued.  Rick left his mother’s home, and John called the police.  Joan filed a No Trespass Order against Rick.

Joan can’t drive.  Rick’s other two siblings lived out of town and couldn’t help out.  Janice’s animosity toward Rick and his siblings ruled her out as someone who could help Rick and his mother see each other.  Rick was the only child of Joan’s in the area who could (and had) provided care for her.

2 days later, Rick’s mother communicated to Rick that she wanted the no trespass order lifted.  Together they went to the police department and discussed the order with an officer.  Rick gave him guardian Kristyan Calhoun’s phone number as someone who could have the order lifted.  The officer called Kristyan only to be told that the order would not be lifted.  Kristyan then told Rick’s sister Sharon that Rick had gone behind Kristyan’s back.

Kristyan then filed a restraining order against him.

Adult Protective Services performed interviews with Rick, his siblings, his mother, and his mother’s friends.  Their reports found no reason to separate Joan and Rick.

The Guardian Ad Litem report states in her recommendations:  “It is in the best interests of Mrs. Mesler to spend time with her son, Richard.  However, the contact should be monitored to ensure that it does not become too upsetting or detrimental for Mrs. Mesler.”  In fact, in her interview with Joan Mesler she states, “her main focus during my entire visit was that she wanted to see her son, Richard, “now!”  She had his picture on the table and very frequently held it to her body and kissed it and then shoved it toward me and pointed at it.  She yelled “now, now, now, now” in a very loud manner and pointed several times at the picture during several parts of my visit.”

Rick Fights for His Life

A court hearing is required for a restraining order to be placed against someone.  If the defendant doesn’t show up, the order is automatic.

Rick showed up.  Unfortunately, his legal counsel withdrew at the last minute, leaving him to fend for himself.

I listened to the proceedings which lasted two days.  To call it “painful” is an understatement.  First, you felt like you were watching lions stalk a lamb that’d strayed too far from its mother.  Rick was not a lawyer, had no legal experience, had never even had so much as a brush with the law.  The ins and outs and complexities of presenting a court case and defending one’s self were completely outside his understanding and experience, as it is for most of us.

Rick believed, based on the Guardian Ad Litem report submitted by Amy Clark, and the testimony of himself and other witnesses, that justice would prevail and the restraining order would be lifted.  He had opportunity even to question his sister Janice:

Rick asked his sister Janice, “Are you willing to sit down now, at the table, at any table, and discuss our mother’s best interests?  How we can make things better for her?

Janice, “No.”

It seems common in these cases for there to be a contentious family member who likes to plant ideas in the head of the vulnerable.  THAT is why they are vulnerable.

Rick asked Janice, “Did you stand in the kitchen of the house with your hands on your hips and state that there was no way I was getting my mother’s house?

Janice, “Well, my hands weren’t on my hips.  But mother and I both were in agreement that you’d moved all of your furniture in to the garage and you were planning on taking the house.”

Rick, having moved from Tacoma to a home 1/2 the size in Yakima stored much of his furniture in his parents’ garage.

In the Guardian ad Litem report, Rick’s sister Sharon makes it clear that Rick is being bullied by his sister Janice, and Joan makes gestures to that effect as well.  It’d seem to the outside world that this was a clear case of a disgruntled sibling retaliating against their sibling for exposing her actions to her parents.  Somehow, whether because of laziness or limited comprehension, the court believed that the exposure by Rick of his sister’s actions were the root of the problem.

Judge McCarthy to Rick, “May I remind you that you filed two VAPOs originally, and that is the reason we are here, is because of you?”

In fact, the case was regarding a VAPO which Kristyan filed against Rick.  Furthermore, to imply that Rick’s attempts to protect his mother from his sister’s exploitation of her vulnerabilities at least indicates a bias from the court.  Can a person use a VAPO as a means to protect a vulnerable adult without being accused of being a trouble-maker?  Apparently not in McCarthy’s eyes.  This put Rick at further disadvantage.

Amy’s testimony in court veers well off the path of her actual report submitted.  However she did state that Joan Mesler was inconsistent regarding the silver, first furious that Rick had taken it, and then indicating that he had done as she wished.  Rather than that inconsistency being logically applied to the situation, it became the root cause of the VAPO against Richard.  (per Sharon – she was upset that people kept asking her about the silver and telling her that she was being manipulated).

But this was another issue — rather than relying solely on the claims of Janice Vickers and the inconsistencies of Mrs. Mesler, Amy Clark stated that she did not ask Steve (eye witness for the coin transfer) about the coins because she was not “prepared” to do so.  She also did not contact the recipients of the coins to verify that they received the coins because she “didn’t have time” and it wasn’t relevant.  In a list of 13 people who knew where the coins went and the nature of the transaction — the entire basis of the VAPO — she gave no reason for not interviewing them.  (We’ve heard this complaint from Ms. Clark in other proceedings — she’s “not prepared” or “doesn’t have time”.)

In fact, Amy Clark HAD spoken to Steven and Sharon about the silver, something that both corroborated and explained to Amy.  So, why would she claim that she met with Steve, was not prepared to ask him about the coins, yet had actually discussed in detail about the coins?  Why would she say she didn’t talk to Sharon about the coins either?

She recommended in the report and in court that Rick should be allowed to visit with his mother for 2 to 3 hours at a time, a few times a week, as long as it was supervised.  She recommended that they could visit in Joan’s home.

Calhoun took the stand — mind you, she’d been the guardian for Mrs. Mesler for 6 months — and could not remember Mrs. Mesler’s first name (pronounced Jo-ann).  Then began a script that anyone who’s ever dealt with a corrupt guardian would recognize:

• The “ward” has no knowledge or understanding of their finances
• The “ward” is easily confused about financial matters
• The “ward” is in some way stressed out by any interactions with those who’ve attempted to stand up to the guardian

Calhoun then talks about how emotional and paranoid the patient with dementia can become.  She states that Mrs. Mesler became very agitated, paranoid, upset, and vocal with everyone around her at different times.  However, she goes an extra step with that by stating that when Mrs. Mesler became agitated with regard to Rick, it was Rick’s fault.  But when Mrs. Mesler’s agitation was directed at Calhoun or her staff, it’s dismissed as just another symptom of dementia.  In fact, Mrs. Mesler becomes extremely agitated at different times with everyone it seems — her caregivers, her family members, her guardian, and Guardian ad Litem.  She’s rammed caregivers with her walker, sent them away, and yelled at them.  (The same behavior that Calhoun uses as a gauge of her need to be separated from her son.)

So, why would anyone focus efforts on restraining Joan’s oldest son from visiting her when his interactions with her were no more or less stressful than anyone else’s, and there was no evidence of exploitation or abuse?  What we’ve seen in other cases is that when a loved one takes any kind of stance demanding accountability from a guardian, a VAPO is brought, under the guise of relieving emotional strain for the person under the guardian’s care.  Is it retaliatory?

Calhoun goes on to speculate not only that Rick would become abusive to his mother (something he’s never done) but that as a result of the hearings he would then “take it out” on his mother.  She goes into great detail about what she believes may happen after the hearing — all to Rick’s detriment, none with any basis.  It is the kind of paranoid conjecture of someone with dementia, according to Calhoun’s assessments.

She then goes on to recommend that he get a complete psychiatric evaluation and counselling.

Rick’s attempts to defend himself in court are then used against him as evidence that he can’t control himself.

The hearing lasted for two days.  It was unfair and wrong.  What is most important is that a mother and her son are separated, with no unique cause.  What this demonstrates most clearly is that Calhoun is incapable of assuring that the most basic relationships are kept intact, instead focusing on eliminating those relationships that cause her the most stress.

In summary: the Guardian ad Litem recommended Joan and Rick be able to visit each other, Rick’s mother has begged and pleaded to see her son, and there is no evidence of abuse or exploitation by Rick.

Vulnerable Adult Protection Orders – a Disturbing Trend

In the hearing, Calhoun’s attorney asks her how many Vulnerable Adult Protection Orders she’s filed during her career as a guardian.  Calhoun states “4”.  In fact, she’s filed 8, 7 of which were filed between 2015 and 2018.

Our research into those VAPOs turned up an especially harrowing tale where Calhoun evicted the daughter from the home she shared with her mother for over 20 years, a VAPO was filed, and when the daughter attempted to visit her dying mother on her death bed, Calhoun allegedly had her arrested and jailed while her mother passed.  Neighbors of the mother and daughter, when they heard that the VAPO was being filed, expressed concern about what Calhoun was doing and were (allegedly) told by Calhoun that if they made a declaration in defense of the daughter, they would never see the mother again – a woman they’d formed a friendship with over the years they lived next to each other.

Our fear is that the story is true – based on Calhoun’s actions and statements in other confirmed cases – and that Rick Mesler could face the same fate in the event anything happens to his own mother.

Visiting Joan

We had the opportunity to visit Joan Mesler earlier this month and learned that she had gone for 3 weeks without anyone to bathe her or wash her hair.  She had no groceries in her refrigerator except Mountain Dew and an expired jug of milk.  With Calhoun in charge of Ms. Mesler’s care and Rick unable to assist without risk of arrest, Ms. Mesler had no way to get groceries.

Per court records, Calhoun is paying a caregiver service to see to Ms. Mesler’s needs for 6 hours a day, 7 days a week.  This does not appear to be happening at all, and certainly Ms. Mesler is receiving worse care now than in the years that Rick took care of her.

Was getting a guardian and separating Joan from her son Rick an improvement to Joan’s life and health?  Her expenses have increased to closer to $10,000 a month ($4800 a month for the caregivers and anywhere from $5000 to $8000 a month to Calhoun).  She doesn’t actually receive care from a caregiver, and Calhoun neglects to supervise even the most basic of duties.

Joan has expressed deep frustration with her situation and the costs associated with it.  Her current attorney Marcus Fry has represented Calhoun in several other cases, creating a disturbing conflict of interest.  It is our understanding that she is seeking a different attorney.

Would a different attorney be able to undo all that has been done to Joan?  Could the VAPO be dismissed?

Yet, it’s unlikely he’ll ever see his mother again.

We’re keeping a close eye on this case of course, and doing what we can to stay in touch with Joan.  Check this blog for updates to her case.